Sunday, March 20, 2016

Feed Your Spirit Sunday

Have you ever had a small pebble in your shoe for an extended period of time, because for some reason or the other you just haven't taken the time to get it out? Then, for some reason you start feeling anxious and annoyed and stressed, only to realize it's because you still have that pebble in your shoe? I feel like the small things in life are like that. It feels like that for me right now. I am hugely blessed and likewise, thankful for my life. I feel an immense sense of gratitude for so many things, and I also just feel so lucky in a lot of ways. There is so much positivity in my life, but there is that pebble. ALWAYS THAT PEBBLE. I try to ignore it, but it's there---taking away the full sense of happiness I could have. So, why do I feel so frustrated and anxious at things that are and things that could  be? I think it's because I feel like I don't know how to get the rock out of my shoe. I need help, but where do I find that help? Prayer. That is the answer I come up with. But, I have the hardest time with prayer!  I know it works, because there have been a couple times that there is no denying, my prayers were answered. A COUPLE. I know my prayers have been answered plenty more times than just a couple, my life is proof of it, but they didn't happen in a way that I could say "Yes, undeniably that is the answer to my prayer. I heard the voice, or felt that feeling" . Most of the time, they just happen. And I think that is the way God intended it. God lets life happen to us, and when we are blessed it is through obedience and mercy and love, and when hard or terrible things happen it is because of bad decisions or other people making bad decisions or just plain because we are imperfect mortals in imperfect bodies. I am going on a tangent here. The point is this, prayer is a hard thing to feel deeply involved and connected through on a daily basis, at least it is for me. But, I know it works. That is why I do it every day and when I am happy and when I am sad or stressed. I always do it. But, I can do better, I can have more faith, especially when it comes to my children. It is so hard to have faith that everything will just work out. But, there are really only two options: stress and freak out and be a wreck, or pray and try to have faith. The latter is what will bring more blessings and happiness, and that is what I am trying to do to find peace in my life, and more importantly in myself. It is what I am trying to do to weather the storms in life, but more importantly, the storms within myself.

That He May Write upon Our Hearts-President Henry B. Eyring