Tuesday, February 9, 2016

The Un-In-Love Couple

I was at the park when I saw them. I was in college, and I was there with some friends or something. I don't really remember. I just remember them, and the image of them in my mind. And thinking, "Wow, they look miserable together. I am never going to look like that when I get married." And here I am writing, only four and a half years after getting married, knowing my husband and I have looked just like them multiples of times. They sat there, staring at the playground, probably at their kid(s), sitting on opposite ends of the bench. In truth, it was a sad sight to see....it IS a sad sight to see, to most everyone except the couple themselves.

I'll admit right NOW, of course there is the couple at the park that is sitting on opposite ends of the bench for some relationship problems. I am not talking about everyone. But, I am here to say, that couple could have been 100 million billion tragillion percent happy. I know it, because my husband and I look like that sometimes, and we are beyond happy.

Some days, we are that tired from just regular life. The sleepless night before, the whining from the day, the feeling the cold coming on and knowing everyone is going to catch it, the stresses of money, the question of what should we shoot for next in life. But, ignoring the circles under our eyes, our messy dress and hair, or lack of energy to even scoot next to each other, if you were to look beneath all of that and on the inside. You would be blinded by the light of our joy. Isn't it funny that so much work could breed such a deep penetrating joy? A joy that isn't in the moment or there for a few years, but a joy that will be their an entire lifetime and past? And we made it, all on our own. Sometimes, I even call it a sacrifice. I want to gag on the word as I write it. A sacrifice? And yet, it is true. Because it is a sacrifice to live a portion of your life for someone else, and give literally everything you can give to them. Heart, body and soul. But, it is also such a blessing. How lucky am I to be blessed to be a mother. To have that title. And, same goes for my husband. What an honor. I try not to get angry when the unknowing scoff at it, because I used to be one of them. No one will ever fully understand it until they experience it themselves. Just like every experience in life. These little people we are raising will be a part of our lives forever. They will grow up to be our best friends, and take care of us in the ends of our lives. God created such a beautiful cycle for our bodies and for our souls. He created the perfect learning cycle for us. I am so thankful for that, and for the deep joy I get to have while working through that cycle back to Him.

So yeah, as much as that un-in-love couple looked so un-in-love, I like to think that they were both just sitting there. Chilling in the sunlight, feeling exhausted from the work of life and inwardly letting their hearts bask in the light of love, as they watched their little lumps of joy run and fall around the playground, and climb the ladders, and yell and shout at their parents "watch this! Look!" Because that is how I feel when I am sitting on opposite ends of the park bench with my husband. We might be sitting separately, but our joy is completely unified---as one.