Sunday, February 2, 2014

The Perfectly Picturesque Pregnancy

YEAH. RIGHT. Let's cut the crap ladies. Okay okay, so it's not really crap for some women. I know women who don't ache, don't feel sick,  and in fact they feel more healthy and energetic than normal, but I have quickly come to terms with the fact that I am not one of those women. Making a baby for me is some little alien monster that is destroying me from the inside out and taking away all of my imunity! I'm pregnant with my second now and it really was a lot different from my first pregnancy in a lot of ways. Most of all, I don't feel like barfing every morning and have to tilt my head backwards while walking around my school breathing in and out telling myself "I'm fine, I don't feel anything coming up my throat". I also don't have as superman-ish smelling senses which is A.W.E.S.O.M.E. Hello ability of public restroom usage (is that good or bad, though?) This post is going to be somewhat similar to my Breastfeeding post that I did a while back. I'm here to lay it out. My mom and sisters (bless their hearts) never told me anything about what pregnancy does to your body. I don't blame them though, who would want to talk about it? Plus, before ever being pregnant I doubt I would have been too excited to converse with either of my sisters had the conversation started, "So, this morning I like could hardly walk and I am pretty sure that something is falling out of my butt..."Yeah. I'da given no response. So, I guess thank you to my sisters.
But, ALAS, I am not them. I am here to give you THE LIST. And honestly, I could care less what people think about this list because its reality and if you don't like it, well then just pray that you're one of the women we talked about in the beginning of this entry who glows about pregnancy.Plus, there are going to be plenty of things missing from this list and since I've never experienced or heard of those things, I wouldn't know about them.
-Hyper sensitive smelling ability---have you ever read the book Perfume? I hated it. But, after being pregnant with Yogurt Drop I felt deeply connected in a very strange way to the main character.
-Nausea...this comes at all different levels for different women. Never feeling sick to barfing a couple of times a day. That's one way to keep baby weight off (totally just kidding. Gain that weight!) not feeling tired. I'm talking fully knocked out and drooling on the public sofas of your university or just all over the comfort of your husbands pillow (because his just is that much more comfy during nap times)
-Hemroids...yeah.Not pretty. Not comfy. Not anything but your baby trying to push his/her way out of your bum hole instead of the other one. And no, this isn't just at the end. I got these pretty puppies within about two months of my first pregnancy. Depending on where you carry highly impacts whether or not you'll be spending your hang out time with these or not.
-Back pain...this comes at different levels for everyone as well. Mine led me to find out that I actually have a bulging disc in the lowest vertebrae that you have, right before you tail bone begins, which just happens to be where my babies usually chill. That leads to all sorts of unbearable bearable pain.
-Varicose veins...I'm 24 and yeah they are there. Magically appearing all over my legs sporadically and whenever they want. They didn't hurt at the beginning but now they do and they just keep on coming! More and more.
-Vulvar Varicosities...You think you feel pressure down there? Unless you have these things, yeah.YOU DON'T.
-Bed wetting...You might be joining your two year old for potty training. I like to tell myself that its the deadly combo of trying to stay hydrated, having a squished bladder and being so knocked out at night that a dam breaking wouldn't wake you. Because obviously, it doesn't.
-Sensitive breasts...Bra? Not happening.

-Gallbladder attacks...this is the first one on the list I haven't experienced, but know about from a couple of people. Apparently EXTREMELY painful and happens a lot when pregnancy sneaks up on you. Most people get it taken out.
-Diabetes...this is the only other thing on the list I haven't experienced. But, you can get it while you are pregnant and then it goes away after you deliver. Can be pretty dangerous.

That's all I can think of now off of the top of my head as far as my list goes. Now, just to cheer you up a little glimpse into pregnancy with a story. Go ahead and share one of yours! We all need to not feel alone. And, boy I hope I am not alone. Maybe I am though, and that would be depressing.

I had just spent a great day and evening at a friends house with my husband and Aida. I ate this delicious tomato basil soup which was my favorite and felt great. We played cards and talked. Then my stomach started feeling a little bit sick so I told my husband that I wanted to go. By the time we reached the house we were staying at (my sister-in-law's(we were on a trip)) I was NOT feeling okay. I just went straight to my make-shift bed and laid down. But, little baby girl down under would not stop kicking my everywhere and making me feel even more sick! I knew I was going to throw up and just wanted to get it over with. Finally, the time came. I felt it coming up and and I ran like a cheetah to that shiny white bowl. Perfect timing. Too bad I had to pee like no other once I got up and ran to that bathroom. But, puking and using the bathroom at the same time is a talent not anyone in the world has, at least that I know of. PRESSURE. It all had to do with the pressure. Too much of it I tell you! With every cup of warmed tomato basil soup that shot out of my mouth, something warm shot out as well. Yep. Peed my pants, little by little. By the time I finally felt better because absolutely nothing was in my stomach, I was completely wet. Good thing there was a shower right next to me, eh?
I got teary eyed.
But, at the end of the day, my husband still loves me, Yogurt Drop still loves me, and I got one other little cocoa bean growing inside of me that will love me, and I already love her. THAT and only that is what makes pregnancy perfect and picturesque. At least for me :)